There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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