Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
