I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
