Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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