she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
