Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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