You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
