did you get engaged???
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
