The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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