Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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