Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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