Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize