why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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