I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
