Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
