Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
