the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
