i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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