Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
