come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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