It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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