insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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