Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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