I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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