dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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