Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize