So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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