Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
