So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
