everyone is single if you try hard enough
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
