she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize