I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't notice because vodka
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
