girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
