I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize