She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
