Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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