i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my poor anus
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize