I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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