Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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