Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
