What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
