I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
