4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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