Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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