I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
