the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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