Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
