I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
