Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize