Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
