I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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