I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
