I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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