So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
