Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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