Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
