Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
