your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
