the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
