I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
