maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
