apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Operation Purity has been aborted
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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