I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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