here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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