Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
they need to just BURY HIM!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
