I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
