so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
