question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
