you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
