I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
