Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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