the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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